登出 ... :( (na nun yo ja imnikka)

na nun yo ja imnikka. (because i'm a girl) ... i just can't understand the waysof all the men and their mistakesyou give them all your heart and then they rip it all awayyou told me how much you love meand how our love was meant to beand i believed in you, i thought that you would set me freeyou should've just told me the truththat i wasn't the girl for youstill i didn't have a clue, so my heart depended on youalthough i say i hate you now, though i shout and curse you outi'll always have love for you because i am a girlbeen told a man will leave you coldget sick of you and boredi know that it's no liei gave my all still i just crynever again will i be fooledto give my all when nothing's truei won't be played again but i will fall in love againi love you so ... now you leave me in the coldhow could this be? i thought that you'd only love meinto the night, i will pray that you're alrightyou hurt me so, i just can't let you goyou take advantage of my willingness to do anything for lovenow i'm the only one in painwill you please take it all away? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- hai ... i am not generalizing here but i don't have anything good to say right now. my heart is in so much pain ... too much trouble this is causing me. i know i should forget, move on and get a life. i know there's a lot more to life out there. but i cannot possibly forget it right away after 19 months of being together. how much more to some people who have been together for 3-5 years or maybe more and then they just decided to end it and go their separate ways. that's so sad, right? :( and in comparison, relationships under a year, say for example 6 months and then they eventually end up together and are happily married! oh that is so unfair! my new motto .. "ordinary love is over-rated. true love is under-rated." :( he said ... she said ... hai! sumo! common cause of break-ups? i don't know ... miscommunication, long distance, afraid of commitments, third-party (ipa stx oi), family problems, financial stability ... and etc etc. hai ...! why do they have to come and ruin such a perfect relationship? he said nothing is constant in this world and that maybe we're just destined to be friends like how we started. he said we should take it one step at a time, go back from step one and maybe, eventually, we'll still end up together? do i still have to hope for that? kurraeso! (i don't know) ... and i am so tired. hmf! i wanna scream at him, hate him, curse him, loathe him and murder him ... haHah! but no, i can't. not because of the fact that i can't do such things but because i also pity him. he's having such a hard time with life lately that i cannot possible hate him for some reason. i know i said God can't fix a broken heart if you don't give HIM all the pieces. huhuhu!! it was my mom who said that and not me. :(( i want GOd to fix my heart again this time ... completely with no patches of it being messed up. but i know He wants me to be strong so i have to. i have to keep going with life. this is week 4 of my devastating life ... awww~~!! uber! ;-) but yeah ... i have been so depressed lately, my mind is always heading off somewhere and i cannot do the usual things i used to do on normal days ... because he used to start and end my day. oh my goodness! i don't wanna cry no more ... i am soOooo tired! sumo sumo sumo sumo!! >_< grrr!! sometimes i do pretend that he doesn't exist in my world but everytime i am alone, i remember the past again. this is really getting into my nerves! i am having some serious problem here ... friends try to cheer me up and i laugh with them. i talk as if nothing happened but no matter how much i try to be happy ... reality always hit me like a hard blow on my face. i hope he can feel my pain too, right? he told me i should be happy, give chance to other guys, do the things i want to do and not think about him. how easy for him to say that? he doesn't feel what i feel. he said he's still not over it but we just have to let each other go for now ... T_T if nothing is really constant in this world ... then i'd rather not fall in love again. it's hard to move on ulet. he even called me selfish ... selfish daw aq love! pasabta daw q beh!yati!! >_< hai ... i don't understand why oh why??... what went wrong? i have been a good girlfriend ... i think so... haHah! is it me or is it him? hai ...! i am tired of wracking my brain ... so much for this. everytime i pour out my emotions, i feel emptiness inside. i really don't know how to play it like i'm not in love with him. but i'll try even though i miss him a lot. :( i hate the fact that i love him so! unfair!!! >_< of all the things that we've been through ... it's hard to get over it. but i guess i have to face the harsh reality for now that we're over. :(  ** someday, you'll gonna realize. one day, you'll see it through my eyes. well i've got news for you. i know i'm not that strong. but it won't take long, won't take long. someday somene's gonna love me. the way i wanted you to miss me. someday, someone's gonna take your place. you'll see i'll forget about you. you'll see i won't even miss you. someday ... someday.** ~~ hai nakOo! another brokenhearted thread! *** manaway na pud si switkizer ani! bahala! O.o ***